Things I’m Loving

Ten things I’m loving lately:

(1) Tender forehead kisses. You know the kind: they make everything instantly better. They are as tender as they are sweet. And I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them.

(2) Dove red-velvet flavored milk chocolates. Just ugh, so good. GO get yourself some now and thank me later! Quick, get your butt out the door while they are still on discount from valentine’s. They are the real deal.

(3) Pho. Pho-real. Give me ALL THE ASIAN FOOD ! Bonus points for topping with siracha.

(4) My oversized scarf. Wooly perfection. The perfect item to very publicly (and warmly!) self-swaddle in the most completely adult and totally socially-acceptable way.

(5) Joking. One thing that has really gotten me through recent health crises has been humor. Not that it makes everything magically better. But it sure as hell makes everything funnier. In all honesty, though, I could not have gotten through the week without Boyfriend and his endlessly irreverent humor by my side.

(6) Dogs. Dogs are little, hairy angel-sprites sent to earth to make us smile, give us endless amounts of love & cuddles, and to teach us humans how not to be such shits to each other. Dogs are just great.

(7) Lists. Lists can be useful or purposeful or just great. Take, for example, this one.

(8) Flurries.We’re not talking a full-on snow storm. But little tiny flurries that just ephemerally appear and disappear just as quickly, like a passing rain shower of glitter. Those are what I like best.

(9) Friends who drive me to medical appointments. Shout out to my homies. Thanks for being my DD while I seemingly endlessly exist as a cross between a hot mess and a total lump.

(10) Self-acceptance. Defo working on mastering this one still, but in those brief moments when I can manage to get the hang of it, it really makes life hella lot easier to do. I can’t spend life worrying that I’m going to do something and look like an idiot. I need to accept that I do stupid shit all the time and move on from it  . . . in a sparkly, glitter-cloud of fabulousness.

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An Interesting Week

This week began with two brain MRIs and me subsequently learning I have an abnormality in my brain (most people who know me would be like, well duh!). And it ended with a three-day admission in the hospital. I guess you could call it an eventful week.

After many weeks of not feeling well at all (and seriously neglecting the blog because of so little energy for it), everything came to a head when my BP and pulse became so unstable that my heart doctor basically took one look at me and then sent me straight from her office to a hospital admission. I should have been more on top of my fluids. I should be more on top of a lot of things. Oops, my bad.

Something I have noticed about myself lately is that I do not always fight for my health as hard as I should. As someone who has prided herself on her determination in athletics and academics and generally in life, and who has pushed herself relentlessly to the limit, I seem to have adopted a less than stellar attitude toward this. I guess a part of me doubts that my health is really as bad as it is. Or that I do not want to admit things are as bad as they are. The old “all-or-nothing” thinking that if I’m not the worst case of fill-in-the-blank, then it’s really not bad at all. Yeah. Not my most brilliant of moments, folks.

So, this week I have learned a hard lesson, which is that I need to take much better care of this fragile body I own. Even if it seems like day after day of getting nowhere, I still need to try. If I don’t, it seems like things can go downhill pretty fast.

So, to recap this week’s events:

Brain MRI – being hurtled head-first into a long, noisy tube while simultaneously getting contrast injected into your vein. They also put this hannibal-type cage over your face and it has a mirror, which is cool, I guess. The end product of all this being that they saw I have an abnormal growth on my pituitary. And now I need to see an endocrinologist – but hopefully will not have to have brain surgery.

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The Great Dehydration Scandal of 2016 – Well, I thought I was lucky having not been in the hospital in 2016 yet, but that winning-streak came to a screeching halt this past Monday. I was lucky to have a team of compassionate and informed professionals who all treated me with respect and who viewed my autonomic dysfunction as something serious and life-altering. Highlights include copious amounts of IV saline, an adverse reaction to compazine that literally had me panicking, joking around with my GI doctor and calling his cell-phone for him when he lost it somewhere on the unit, and seriously the best damn omelette I’ve eaten in a while.

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So anyhow, now that I am on the road to feeling better and treating myself more wisely, I hope to be back to blogging a bit more soon! Thanks for sticking by me.